When May’s Family started thinking about childcare, they knew they wanted something more personal than a traditional setup. Their journey led them to hosting an au pair, and they haven’t looked back since. Here’s what they shared about their experience, what they’ve learned, and some advice for other families thinking about doing the same.
Why We Chose an Au Pair
“For us, it really came down to how we parent,” they said. “We try to follow a gentle, attachment-based approach with Noah. We want him to feel safe, connected, and at ease.”
They visited a few daycares but didn’t feel like the environments aligned with their parenting style. “I was working from home at the time, and the idea of dropping him off for eight hours just didn’t sit right with us.”
They tried different solutions, like working from home or hiring a nanny, but nothing quite stuck. “After our first nanny had to leave due to personal reasons, we realized how hard it was to find someone we really trusted. That’s when we came across the au pair option, and it just felt like the right fit.”
Advice for Other Host Families
“If you’re thinking of hosting for the first time, be really clear about what you’re looking for,” they advised. “Every family is different, some might want help around the house, others are focused on childcare. For us, it was really important to find someone who loves being around kids.”
They also pointed out how helpful it is to go into interviews knowing what matters most to your family. “At first, you might not know the right questions to ask, but just be honest. Say exactly what you need, how you live, and what kind of energy you want in your home.”
“And don’t be afraid to skip the honeymoon phase,” they laughed. “The sooner you get real, the better it is for everyone.”
What About the Cost?
“When we broke it down, hosting an au pair was actually more affordable than we thought,” they shared. “It ended up being cheaper than daycare or hiring a full-time nanny.”
While there are costs involved, like room, board, and a monthly allowance, spreading those out over a year made it manageable. “It’s 30 hours a week of care, so we do have to cover a few extra hours ourselves, but it still works out well overall.”
For them, the financial side was just one piece of the puzzle. “It’s not just about the money, it’s also the peace of mind. Our child is at home, cared for in a way that fits our values, and that’s something we couldn’t quite put a price on.”
Did Nationality Matter?
“We were open,” they shared, “but we did find ourselves naturally connecting more with candidates from certain countries.”
May grew up around Filipino caregivers and remembered those experiences positively. “We have a soft, gentle approach to parenting, and we felt that caregivers from that region often shared that mindset.”
That said, they spoke to people from all over, like Kenya, Brazil, and other parts of Africa, and were happy to meet kind, thoughtful candidates everywhere. “In the end, the best matches for us happened to be from the Philippines.”
Setting Expectations and House Rules
One of the things that really stood out was how involved their au pair, Winda, was in the process. “She came prepared with her own questions, like ‘Do you want me to cook for you?’ That showed us she was thinking about how to make it work from both sides.”
They started writing down the most important house-rules using a printed template from Nina.care and added the smaller details over time. “We didn’t want to overwhelm her with a huge list on day one. Instead, we introduced things gradually during the first few weeks as we all got used to living together.”
“And we kept checking in, what works for her, what doesn’t, so we could adjust as we went.”
What About Privacy?
“That was definitely something we thought about,” they said. “At first, the idea of someone living with us full-time felt like a big change. But in the end, it wasn’t an issue at all.”
They made sure there was enough space, an extra bedroom is a must, and kept open communication going. “We always had our own space, and so did she. It felt natural.”
Our Favourite Part: Flexibility
“Honestly? One of the best things is the flexibility. If we want to go out on a date night, we can ask to shift the schedule around a bit. That kind of adjustment isn’t really possible with daycare or even with a nanny.”
They found that as long as they communicated in advance, their au pair was happy to work around the family’s needs. “It really helped us balance parenting and still find moments to be a couple.”
What Did You Prioritize During the Interview Process?
One unique consideration for May was their dogs. “We have dogs, and they’re part of the family too. It’s really important that our au pair not only feels comfortable with them but genuinely enjoys being around them. Sometimes we travel and leave the au pair in charge of the dogs, so they need to be willing and happy to care for them.”
Again, honesty played a key role. “We always say: tell us what you really want. If you don’t like animals, this isn’t the right fit, and that’s okay. It’s better to be open about these things from the beginning.”
